SYBF Week 1 Check-in: Reframing Negative Self-Talk
It’s our first mid-week check-in message of our Spring (Your Brain) Forward Challenge. It's shorter than the Sunday/Monday emails, with the intent to provide a quick bit of encouragement and support on the journey of brain building.
First, a little more on how you can best use this challenge to strengthen your growing brain:
Post a bit about your first week’s journey or experiences on the W1 Reframe Your Negative Self-Talk blog. This can be anything: something you learned, a success, a struggle, etc. Post on each weekly topic by challenge end, and you’ll be eligible for free coaching.
Find ways to make this challenge special to you, as it’s likely to help keep you motivated through the next 4.5 weeks. Here are a few ideas from challenge participants (many thanks, Manissa & Shelbi!):
Find a new or gently used journal and multicolored or other beloved writing utensils to create and chronicle your reflections.
Get a special scented candle that you light to launch your daily reflective practice.
Create a playlist of music that relaxes you and lifts your spirits.
Enlist a friend and have a weekly discussion on what you are learning, feeling, and how you are growing.
The meme above says it all. If you’re human (sorry, I can’t speak for bots), this likely has been true for you more often than you’d like to admit. Regardless of how great the day is, it’s typically one less-than-great thing that sets your perception of the whole day. Your negative self-talk loves to find that one little thing and take over your view of the entire day, leaving you with an unbalanced perception of the day.
The occipital lobe of our brain, commonly known as the “reptilian brain,” has two primary functions. One is neutral, which keeps the basic body systems going, like breathing and heart pumping. The other is to freak out—elevate every sense NOW because there might be danger coming, and we can’t risk the wait to see if it really is a lion that is about to eat us.
Imagine a reptile absorbing the warmth of the sun’s rays. As soon as it thinks it sees a threat, it springs into action and dashes away. It doesn’t wait to collect many pieces of evidence that there is a threat; so long as it perceives one, it’s scurrying away. When we shape our thoughts from negative to neutral or positive, we make this part of the brain less likely to jump into spasmodic action.
This handy image provides some reframing thoughts for common negative self-talk phrases:
Social Media
Social media is an essential part of our lives. The average American spends two hours and twenty-five minutes daily on social media. That’s over 870 hours a year!
Not only is that time you could be spending on so many other things, including building your brain, but research shows the more time people spend on social media, the higher the likelihood they have a negative self-perception.
I'm not against social media; I’m a supporter. It's a platform that allows me to connect with amazing people like you. However, let’s face it: spending nearly 2.5 hours daily on social media is excessive. The more we scroll, the more we reinforce our negative self-talk.
Has your once-healthy social media usage crept into the habit of 2 hours plus a day? Try this out:
Limit yourself to what you determine is a healthy number of social media minutes a day. Remember, this is about finding a balance that works for you; you don’t need to cut yourself off from the digital world completely. Setting realistic limits allows you to regain control over your time and focus on activities that enrich your life.
Identify a hobby or activity you would like to spend some or all of your extra time on.
Require yourself to engage in an alternative activity before you “reward” yourself with your social media time.
Before you start the scroll, set a timer for the amount of time you have decided on.
The most challenging part is to stop when the timer goes off.
Need some ideas to help you hone in on what you might do with your newly found time? Here's a short list to get you started, but don't limit yourself to what’s here; use it to inspire you to take up something that genuinely excites you:
Writing of any kind (journal, the family stories you've always said you would write, poetry, fiction, non-fiction, any combination)
Take a class, online or in person, on a subject matter that interests you
Learn a craft (painting, fabric arts, video production, dance, voice acting, etc…)
Exercise (yep, exercise is good for the body and the brain!)
Birdwatching (it's making a comeback!)
Puzzling (jigsaw, crosswords, sudoku, etc)
Gardening (growing your food saves you money and boosts your brain)
Join or start a Mastermind
Startup that “side hustle” you've been thinking about
You are great, and you can be greater. You get better, stronger, and smarter by setting an intention, holding yourself accountable, and taking a small step every day.
I promise you won’t break your brain by trying something new!
Are you feeling stuck? Do you need a listening ear? I'm here for you, for real! For those participating in this challenge, I encourage you to schedule 30 minutes with me. When we're stuck just taking a step, any step starts to build momentum. I have extended the hours on my calendar for participants: book a time to talk here. I want to help you and hear from you. I want YOU to be successful!
